just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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