Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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