I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
