i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
