So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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