she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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