Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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