Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
