Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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