You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
