I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
