can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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