You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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