so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
