if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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