Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
