I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just had sex bonerless
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize