I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
