I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Green mimosas i think yes
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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