How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
