Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize