I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
