the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
