it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize