either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize