Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
