why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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