the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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