Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
