I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
