and you said cock pushups were impossible
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize