Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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