I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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