I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
