hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize