he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
