Princesses don't give blow jobs
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
it glows. i had to have it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
