His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
