would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize