So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
