WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
