Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
