What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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