So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
