Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
