He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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