just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
