there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
