Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
