We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
