When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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