HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
