They should really pass out barf bags in church
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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