Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
