So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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