Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
