I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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