she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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