I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My ass is underappreciated
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
